When I see people with large circles of friends or those with a single person they call a best friend, I often wonder how they’re able to keep and preserve those relationships.

Love grows only when it’s nurtured so do relationships. Feed it, it grows, ignore it, it dies.
Take a flower, for example, water it, it flourishes, give it sunlight it blossoms, trim it when it’s overgrowing or becoming shapeless and it becomes more attractive.
Love is the foundation of every relationship especially that with friends and family and these relationships need to be nurtured so they can grow. They need love, care, attention, that extra bit of sunlight so it grows in the right direction, the right amount of water so it doesn’t die of thirst.
So what happens when all of these things are missing?? It dies!!
I suck at keeping relationships. Getting to keep in contact with a ton of people wears me out especially when it has to do with calling, texting, visiting etc. I’m one of those persons who want to end a conversation as soon as they begin. I’d only stick to you if I truly enjoy your company else I’m out so it’s no surprise I dislike extroverts especially those who talk too much and do not know how and when to tame their tongues, and even if I do enjoy your company, I still need some alone time. Having to deal with someone so close suffocates me introvert problems maybe.

I’ve had some really great friendships which I’ve lost not because I really wanted to but because I couldn’t keep up. Reasons which include;

Ignoring texts and calls

There’s a huge difference between trying to keep in touch and bugging me with excessive calls. It’s funny how I’m no longer friends with “friends who were over caring”. I love my space and often times I just want to be alone. One thing I got totally wrong was not getting back in touch once I got comfortable.

Communication flaws

Say what you like, what you don’t like, your reasons for an action, discuss, chat,  talk express yourself but nada! Vanessa would rather smile and remain silent so it was and still is difficult for me to be understood by people who care about me.


There are some persons whom I really enjoyed their company but I was never really around them and since I find it hard to keep up via social media, calls or texts,  it really took a toll on the relationship. You’ll all agree with me that conversations you have over the phone are quite different from when you’re hanging out together.

Insecerity/ Trust issues

I once overheard my “friend” telling someone else that I’m not really her friend and she was just using me as a pastime and our mutual friend was actually her real friend. Like really?? There I was hyping this friendship, people would see us together and get jealous. People would tell me they wished to have a friendship like ours. Staying in such a relationship isn’t safe at all. Insincerity is something I can’t deal with, It’s either we are for or against each other.
That relationship was one I invested so much into. I gave it my all (as much as I could give), so after that encounter, I’ve found it even more difficult to let people into my circle.

And no I’m not near perfect, I really need to learn how to communicate better with people and preserve healthy relationships which add value to me. If you already know how to do this, I’ll be glad to learn from you.


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